2/3 of a Woman

**Here's my version of Tuesday...too tired to continue right now. WIll write more later.

My surgery was scheduled for 4. I had to be at the hospital by 1. We went home, packed a bag and napped for a few. Steven got to eat taco bell while I was starving and not allowed to eat or drink. While paying at the drive thru I swore it smelled better than anything I’ve smelled before. Like Disneyworld was the best I could explain it. While walking back to day surgery I saw the book fair that was advertised but there was no time by that point. I spotted a water fountain and headed there to rinse. As I was spitting out the water steven’s saying, “you swallowed some, didn’t you?” How the hell does he know? We check in and wait. I get into my stylish backless dress and cozy up in my bed. Steven’s playing on the crackberry so I check out the tv-there was a “relaxation” section which was pretty cool…music and pictures creative visualization stuff and getting healthy affirmations. People come in and ask me the same questions

Oh, wait-while I was still at the dr office that morning duffi, my nurse is going through a list of questions and in the middle she stops and says, “by the way this has nothing to do with your surgery…this is your 1st pregnancy appt. We are assuming this will go just fine.”

Ok, so same questions that the dr and the specialist asked me earlier, plus some. Some bloodwork. Anesthesiologist comes in and explains about the prelim “forget everything shot” to help me relax and the stuff for the surgery. When she asks if I have any questions I just tell her no, I just want to make sure whatever they give me is safe for baby A. She looks a little shocked and says, Oh, twins? At this point I get a little nervous. Shouldn’t EVERYONE working my case know this? Well, she decides that she will not be giving me the prelim shot. She asks if I’m anxious and I’m not so I’ll be ok.

Barbara, Clyde and Ally show up then and they helped a lot. We talked about other things-suicide hotlines, the nonexistence of white tile, etc. Ally thought it might be a good idea to write on my stomach “Baby inside.” Before I knew it it was time.

Since I didn’t get the pre shot I was wide awake while I was wheeled in. Surgery rooms are creepy. All you can see is the ceiling and weird contraptions and they put your arms out to the side like crucifixion. I asked Dr. Peek about doing something with the baby like stem cell research. Something. I just feel like a life was wasted:( She said it would be treated with respect and brought to pathology for testing. I hope I get to find out whatever they found out about it. As of wed when the dr visited me she still hadn’t heard anything. She didn’t even know where it was.

Next thing I know I’m waking up and she’s telling me she had to take the tube. I’m wheeled to recovery where I finally got ice. And, more importantly, a morphine machine! Every 6 minutes I could press the button. They made sure I did, too. The nurses there were great, but the bed was horrible-made my back hurt. They busted their butts to get me ready and then my room wasn’t clean. I was just listening to them bitch about it. It was cool…felt like real life again. One of the nurses told me I was pretty-even with my glasses on (she hated her glasses and how she looked like her mom).

I get to my room and get into a comfy bed. The recovery nurse can’t believe steven is not there yet, so she got his cell # to call him. Apparently some guy was waiting for 2 hours one night and it was her fault…she had to buy him dinner or something:) Steven is telling me whatever dr peek told him and I need him to repeat it. I’m still drugged. This is when I find out she took the ovary, too. She was afraid that without the tube as its structure it might collapse and I might need another surgery. That sounds good, but I’m thinking that she took it because she didn’t know whether the baby was in the tube or ovary. She did say as soon as she touched my tube it started bleeding-guess I was lucky it didn’t burst before then.

This whole time I keep forgetting I’m pregnant.

The clan visited for a while but I was in and out of sleep. I finally got to eat some chicken noodle soup broth probably near 8pm.